7 Self Reflection Questions To Ask Yourself On A Daily Basis

Photo: getty images
woman in nature
Contributor
Self

Self-reflection is the first step in learning how to love yourself.  When you feel like your life is going out of control, asking self reflection questions can help you stay on track.

There are several external factors that we simply cannot control in our lives, such as sickness, unprecedented accidents, time, and especially a global pandemic. What we can control is the way we set our perspectives and how we view ourselves.

Taking control of your life doesn’t simply mean to control every single aspect of your life, but instead to stay accountable for your actions and thoughts.

Most times, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to take a step back and reflect on our own mental wellbeing. Here are 7 self-reflection questions to ask yourself on a daily basis to ensure that your actions and thoughts truly reflect the kind of person you strive to be.

RELATED: 6 Things Truly Confident Women See When They Look In The Mirror

These questions will help you take a moment to reflect on your daily life to make sure that you are prioritizing yourself rather than losing yourself in the whirlwind of work and relationships.

1. What would the highest version of yourself do? 

The words ‘goals’ and ‘success’ can be defined in several different ways and someone else’s idea of success may be the complete opposite of what your idea of success is.

When you ask yourself this question, think of what the highest version of yourself is.

What kind of actions and thoughts does this person have? If the highest version of yourself means to be happy, what do you need to do in order to find happiness for yourself? 

If becoming the highest version of yourself means something as simple as not buying $5 coffees every morning in order to save money for your future, then go ahead and do so. 

You have the power to define what the best version of yourself is. 

We often tend to think of happiness as a feeling we can achieve after something is finished. This goes the same for success too. 

Some naturally tend to believe that they are never successful enough in terms of comparing themselves to others. 

Asking yourself this question should also inspire you to think of what your own happiness and success means in your own terms. How have you progressed in your own terms to achieve happiness or success, and what can you do in the present to progress in the future? 

Maybe you are completely satisfied with who you are and what you are doing in the present, and that’s completely OK. 

However, knowing that there is always room to grow and to progress in life can be a liberating mindset for people who feel like their life never goes the way they want.

Of course, life is never perfect, but knowing that you have control over your thoughts and actions in spite of the world’s unpredictable nature is a huge step towards your individuality and self-development.

2. Do the things you do or people you spend time with make you happy?

When it comes to being accountable for our actions and relationships, we also have the tendency to blame external factors and other people for anything that goes wrong. 

We shouldn’t aim for the best version of ourselves to be people that always blame others and external factors for our own unhappiness.

Self-love is not an easy journey, but we can ask ourselves this simple question to start building our own definition of happiness and self-love. 

Take this small step to understand your own intentions and reasons for doing something or being with a certain person. 

For example, if you feel like you always fall “victim” to toxic relationships, did you really love yourself and put yourself first in these toxic situations? Or were you projecting your ‘people pleaser’ tendencies?

You need to understand your own intentions when being with someone and understand that your feelings are a huge indicator of whether something is good or bad for you.

OK, maybe it’s hard to say that you definitely love yourself when your boss assigns you a boring and time-consuming task. We can’t label everything that we don’t like as “toxic”. 

Caring for yourself is a journey that never ends, so you can ask yourself this question every day and in every personal relationship.

3. What about yourself do you find the hardest to accept and love?

We all have our flaws. To love and care for yourself is to not only love the best part of yourself; self-love means to completely accept who you are, good and bad.

Once you realize what exactly about yourself you don’t like, you have the power to internally change it.

Maybe it’s hard to love the fact that you are a submissive person or that you don’t know how to speak up for yourself. It’s completely OK. Not everyone is born with dazzling confidence and the ability to stand up for themselves. Instead, understand that your quiet and introverted self is not unconfident, but it’s understanding and intuitive.

Accepting all of who you are and knowing that your imperfections can be improved and loved is a huge step in your daily self-development. 

Think about it, even if you are unhappy with certain qualities about yourself, there are people out there who still love and accept you for who you are whether or not you do.

Your parents, friends, coworkers, and lover still accept you despite any quality you deem as bad. If they don’t, then you have the choice to stop looking for others’ approval or acceptance and choose to accept yourself. 

RELATED: 12 Compelling Questions To Ask Yourself That Will Drastically Strengthen Your Relationship

4. Are you choosing people that are also choosing you? 

When it comes to putting your emotions and your opinion of yourself first, it’s hard to ignore our desire to seek approval and acceptance from others. We’re just naturally inclined to be social beings and be accepted by others. 

Whether it be in a relationship or in a friendship, it’s important to know that putting your time and effort into these relationships is not necessary. 

You may be pouring all of your emotions, love, effort, and time into a relationship while the other person may not reciprocate. When this happens, understand that the other person is not obliged to reciprocate your efforts, but you are also not obliged to pour all of yourself into it.

What is no longer serving you in this relationship? 

Does this person really deserve all of your efforts? 

When you choose to spend your energy on people that also choose to reciprocate your energy, the relationship has so much more potential to grow and become fruitful. You cannot force anyone to give you their time and emotions when they are not willing. 

Once you understand what it means for someone to reciprocate your efforts, you will see how rewarding it is to focus your energy on loving yourself instead of always pouring yourself into empty relationships. 

Think of relationships as a ‘give-and-take’ situation. When you are giving and pouring so much into someone else, what are you receiving from them? 

Are you receiving love, pain, broken promises, or even clout? Once you stop focusing your energy on a relationship that no longer serves you, you then gain the time and energy to self-reflect and focus on yourself. 

Give yourself the love and effort that you would give others. 

If you are the type of person to treat a lover with expensive gifts without ever receiving them yourself, it’s time to treat yourself with unconditional love that you never received.

5. How will you turn this negative situation into something positive? 

As mentioned before, the world’s uncontrollable nature makes it difficult to avoid negative situations. 

When faced with failure or negative situations, the real test of self-love is whether or not you can accept your failures and how you treat yourself during these times. 

For example, if you were unemployed for six months because of the pandemic, it’s difficult to accept that the pandemic’s nature is out of your control because it’s affecting your life so severely. 

Every day, you go to LinkedIn, Glassdoor, Indeed, and any other job search engine you can find to get yourself out of this situation. 

Instead of always wondering why you are not good enough, shift your focus to the positive aspects of the situation. 

Maybe this break from work is a sign that you needed a break from the hectic work life. Maybe you needed this break to work on your true passion and start learning more skills. 

However bad a situation may seem, you can always focus on the positives of the situation and take advantage of it since you have no control over the negatives.

Focusing your attention on the positive aspects of a negative situation is one of the best things you can do for yourself. 

We all know how easy it is to fall victim to the negativity in the world, while it’s difficult to find positivity. Staying positive and finding things to be grateful for every day no matter what is a characteristic that requires a lot of self-reflection and a strong mental state.

Use this question to steer away from the negativity of the world and instead focus your energy on what you can do in dire situations. 

6. How would you describe your relationship with yourself in one word? 

This question can help you understand where you are at in your self-love journey.

Can you say that your relationship with yourself is positive, growing, flourishing, or loving? Or would you say that it is negative, hateful, pitiful, and toxic? 

Knowing where you place yourself on the scale of how you view yourself indicates how much internal work is ahead of you.

When self-reflecting, be mindful of the way you view your thoughts, actions, and feelings. Does your mindset really reflect the kind of self-love you strive to achieve? 

Your relationship with yourself should come first in relation to your external relationships with others. If you don’t love yourself, then how will you love others? 

Only a person who loves and accepts themselves is capable of adding more love and positivity to someone else’s life. Relationships usually do not end well for those who become dependent on others for their own happiness and self-love. 

A healthy relationship would consist of two loving people who have done the internal work on themselves to know that they are responsible for their own happiness; each to his own. 

Both people know that their own self-confidence, love, and success comes not from another person, but from within themselves.

7. Do your actions reflect the type of person you would want to be around? 

Instead of always blaming others for broken relationships or negative situations, take the time to reflect on your own actions. 

Are you acting how you want others to act? In other words, reevaluate your actions according to the Golden Rule, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” 

When taking responsibility for your actions, you are also acknowledging that the way others treat you is in accordance with the way you treat others. Now, how does this relate to your journey of self-love and care?

Your actions affect both you and others around you. In regards to your external relationships, other people will treat you positively if your actions are positive. 

When it comes to yourself, your actions will reflect how much you really love yourself and how you choose to put yourself in certain situations with others.

Choosing to change your actions in accordance with the type of person you want to be or the type of people you want to be surrounded by will attract other people who hold the same values as you. 

Don’t sell yourself short and ask yourself this question to start understanding how your actions affect both you and others.

Whether it be an action towards yourself or someone else, your actions speak louder than words when it comes to practicing self-love. What you do is more important than what you say because actions produce results while words can become empty promises.

These questions are all essential to your journey to self-development, which aims to inspire self-reflection and small changes to the way you think or act. You have the option to choose to be happy! 

This is something to celebrate once you start doing the internal work. Choose to be happy and choose to love yourself.

A moment of self-reflection daily is all it takes to become the highest version of yourself.

Use these questions to start flourishing and accepting yourself for who you are, because if you don’t, then who will?

Daily life may seem mundane and repetitive, but changing your mindset with these 7 self-reflection questions should help you break certain periods of feeling stuck or lost.

Once you become accustomed to asking yourself these questions, your thoughts and actions will eventually reap the benefits of all the internal work you have been doing.

RELATED: 3 Questions To Ask Yourself That Reveal Deep Facts About Who You Are

Before you go,
subscribe to our newsletter.

Join now for YourTango's trending articles, top expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning.

Rachell Lee is a writer who covers relationships, pop culture, and self-development topics.