What Is Love Bombing And Why You Have To Know The Red Flags

Love, Self

Love bombing can be extremely uncomfortable because on one hand, you know something isn’t right when he tells you he loves you after a few weeks of meeting one another and on the other hand, you don’t want to be rude or mean by saying anything they might find offensive. Let me just tell you right off the bat that if there is anyone or anything making you feel uneasy or uncomfortable, you have every right to say it out loud. Do not worry about offending someone for their excessive gestures or gifts because if you do not speak up, you may wind up on an emotional roller coaster you never could have imagined. If I knew what I know now, 10 years ago, I would have saved myself a lot of drama and unnecessary chaos.

What is love bombing?

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic that involves overwhelming attention and praise of their partner. People using this tactic may bombard you with gifts or obsessive attention and needy behavior.

One thing to keep in mind about love bombing is it is a tactic which means there is a motive or reason they are acting the way they are. That is not to say everyone who shows you attention and interest in you is love bombing you. But you will know the different between genuine interest and love bombing. Here are some MAJOR red flags to keep in mind.

Obsessive Texting or Calling

Okay, it is one thing to text and say good morning or goodnight but if the phone is constantly going off with random compliments and continues to text without any response from you, watch out.

When or if this happens, do not forget the feeling it gives you. That is key. If you feel uneasy, uncomfortable or just flat outthink the person is insane, trust your instinct.

Extremely Needy and Clingy

Again, it is one thing to miss someone that you’re involved with but when it begins to be an every minute thing where they want to be with you and throw temper tantrums when you can’t, an alarm should be going off in your head.

It is much more than the typical honeymoon stage of a relationship. They get abnormally upset when they do not have your undivided attention. They piss and moan as if you should be at their beckon call. If you find it the least bit strange that after 2 weeks of knowing someone, they are expecting you around all the time, just walk the other way.

You feel anxious or overwhelmed in their presence

You may not be able to put your finger on why you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed but take a step back and think. Think about the circumstances and the times when you feel it most.

Is it when you are around them? Is it when they are talking? There IS a reason you feel this way and it is important to look at it as a red flag rather than ignoring it.

Excessive

Love bombers are excessive in most everything they do. It is either one extreme or the other. There is never a happy medium with love bombers. They will stay stuck on one subject or situation for a long time and if you are not listening, they will make it known.

See what they are like when out and about. Are they impulsive? Do they create chaos? Do they attract drama? Are their decisions extreme? Think about it. A typical person is rational and logical, for the most part. A love bomber is usually incapable of being rational.

Final Thoughts

It takes a level of self-awareness and trust within yourself to be able to identify red flags and make the appropriate decision. It only becomes more difficult with each day that passes. The longer you allow yourself to be subjected to the other’s attempts at love bombing you, the more likely you are to fall into their trap.  

There are signs early on whether someone is going to love bomb another. All of us can justify why we did not listen to the red flags, but do not allow yourself to be like me, and many others who have been love bombed. Be the person who listens to the red flags and educates others about love bombing. If you ignore the red flags, you will end up miserable and wishing you had not ignored them. I know I did.    

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