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SPECIALTIES

Abuse / Survivors of Abuse

Years in Practice

25 years +

where

San Marcos CA 92069 - United States

Credentials

PhD

Additional Expertise

Marriage Coach, Marriage Educator, Mediator, Relationship Coach, Speaker/Presenter, YourTango Expert Partner

I Practice in

All areas, please inquire

I AM FLUENT IN

English

I Believe

You deserve to have honesty, safety, trust, respect, and reliability in your relationship. Mutuality is everything. If it is not there, and you feel alone, put down, and emotionally exhausted, you deserve better. Strong people get help.

About Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

​As a relationship consultant, educator, and speaker, I offer relationship help to my clients to support them with stressful and high conflict partnerships. I specialize in working with the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people I call Hijackals®. These are people with the patterns, traits, cycles, and mindsets of those in common with narcissists, passive-aggressives, sociopaths, histrionics, and psychopaths, although there is likely no diagnosis.

What does this look like? 

High conflict--Hijackal--partnerships are ones where you feel like you're "always wrong". It could be with your spouse, parent, ex, co-worker or friend. The experience for you is that you are "never right"; no matter what you do, or how hard you try.  And, everything--including the weather--will be your fault! 

In many high conflict relationships, you frequently experience emotional extremes: high times and very low times, love and hate, breaking up and working it out. It's a rollercoaster ride, for sure. 

Ultimately, you spend a lot of time and emotional energy trying to "fix" your relationship, but are left feeling lost about what to do. You are hoping that the person you fell in love with will return, and replace the one who exercises power and control through verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Sadly, it can also go so far as physical abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, and spiritual abuse.  And, that person who so carefully wooed, delighted, promised, and loved you in the beginning was a myth. Not only were they never actually real, they are not coming back. Of course, when they really want something they turn on the charm and hook you on the hope that they're back. Sad. 

This is where I can help you.

Relationships like this are exhausting. This is partially true because people often don't realize they are in a high conflict relationship. Arguing, feeling ignored and feeling like you're never good enough become "normal". Even though a big part of your heart and brain knows this can't possibly be true.

Over time, you are torn down, put down, and worn down to the point of believing the #Hijackal, second-guessing yourself, and questioning your sanity. I'll help you sort this out, regain and reclaim your personal power. 

I'm want you to listen to that voice.

The part of you that tells you that "this isn't normal" is on to something and this is where I can help you. When you love someone who pushes you away, yet demands that you stay, it is not only confusing. It's a betrayal, and no one can live with that push and pull for long, without giving in or giving up. 

Does it mean your relationship has to end? Not necessarily. But, it does mean that you need some support to figure out how bad things are going to get and what, if any, hope is there to recover the love that you once shared. It means that you have to assess all that is, and has, happened to you and your children in the relationship, and make good decisions in that light. 

If this is the situation you're in, I can absolutely help you. 

The quiet voice in your head/heart that speaks to you tells you that things need to get better; that you don't have to be quite so miserable in your relationship; that you're worth more and that healthy love isn't so hard... LISTEN to that. And reach out. I'm here.  

As a relationship consultant, I offer urgent and ongoing care for couples and individuals across the globe. I have been working with people struggling with life, death, and relationship for over thirty years in the United States and Canada . My mission is stopping emotional and verbal abuse, and to bring hope, comfort, strength, insights, and strategies to people who may have given up believing a healthier relationship and happier life was possible. I'll help you regain and reclaim your personal power, strong boundaries, and the joy and zest for living that you deserve. 

To learn more visit www.ForRelationshipHelp.com  

FREE CHECKLISTS:

If  you want to know if you're with a Hijackal, download my free ebook, How To Spot A Hijackal, at Hijackals.com 

Join my closed Facebook group to get insights, strategies, and support if you've experienced life with a Hijackal, Facebook.com

VISIT MY WEBSITE:  ForRelationshipHelp.com 

FULL BIO:

As a relationship consultant, speaker and author,  Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor, provides urgent and ongoing care for relationships in crisis, for individuals, couples, companies, and even the United States Marines.  

For more than thirty years, she has helped the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she calls “Hijackals®” to stop the crazy-making and save their sanity. An expert in conflict management, negotiation, and mediation, Dr. Shaler offers audiences the insights and strategies to recognize, realize, and recover from the pain, friction, and drama of troubling relationships.

Dr. Shaler brings hope!  Along with the information and support, she brings the new perspective audiences need to reclaim confidence, assertiveness, and sanity when dealing with the constant uncertainty and jaw-dropping behaviors of Hijackals in life, at home and at work.

To reach her huge mission of helping people worldwide to stop tolerating abuse, Rhoberta hosts two weekly podcasts, Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show, and Save Your Sanity: Help for Toxic Relationships.  Along with her guest experts, she offers the help, hope, and how-to’s of recognizing, realizing, and recovering from what listeners often haven’t even allowed themselves to think of as abusive relationships. They respond by telling her how she has changed—and even saved—their lives! She also hosts a weekly livestream show on YouTube where you can join in, ask questions, and share your experiences about life with difficult people. 

Author of sixteen books, including Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain, and Strengthen Your Relationships, Escaping the Hijackal Trap: The Definitive Guide to Dealing with Relentlessly Difficult People, and Stop! That’s Crazy-Making! How to Quit Playing the Passive-Aggressive Game, Dr. Shaler inspires hope, sows peace, and changes lives.

A well-respected international speaker for more than thirty years, Dr. Shaler shares her work through conferences, trainings, and webinars. She also works with individuals and groups worldwide through video conferencing.  ForRelationshipHelp.com 

P.S. Wondering if you're with a #Hijackal? Read her free ebook, How to Spot a Hijackal available at Hijackals.com 

Rhoberta Shaler, PhD Articles