Love

Why You Need To Stop Overanalyzing Everything A Guy Does

Photo: Marjan Apostolovic / shutterstock
couple embracing

By Lindsey Grace

I’m a very strong-willed person. I know what I want in life and I work my butt off to get it.

I am the same way in my relationships. I believe that a man should work hard for me, respect me, and treat me like he would his mother.

So when I got a call from my best friend saying, “You need to come over and meet this guy,” I thought it would be the same ol’ same. He’s cute, you like him, but he’s just looking for one thing.

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This guy was gorgeous and hilarious. He quickly spun me around the kitchen floor, and I was having the best time. Normally, I would have my guard up. I would play hard to get and let him know I’m a boss B.

This time it was different. I just let things be. I had fun and you know what? It was amazing.

He showered me with compliments, telling me I was beautiful and that he loved my blonde hair. Since when do guys appreciate our hair? He also gave me compliments that weren’t just about my physical appearance.

For the first time in a while, I felt appreciated by a guy, I felt like someone saw my worth. I mean, isn’t that what we strive for? Wanting one great guy to see our worth and want to make an investment?

Normally I would make guys wait for multiple dates just to kiss me, but when it felt right, I just did it. I didn’t care if it was moving too fast, I didn’t care if it was what I would normally do. I just took it easy because I knew he was going out of town and I didn’t know when he would be back.

I couldn’t believe it when he made my bed in the morning and then left me the cutest note I’d ever gotten.

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Then it hit me: why does one guy I’m just having fun with treat me better than all my ex-boyfriends?

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I think we often get caught up in “doing the right thing” or “saying the right thing.” As women, we often walk on eggshells hoping we don’t scare a guy away.

We send texts to be proofread to our friends, hoping we will get approval. We spend endless nights going over the words we said, hoping he didn’t take it wrong.

But here’s the thing we’re forgetting: If he’s the right guy, we’re not going to scare him away. So I stopped worrying, stopped analyzing, and started being who I am. If a guy doesn’t like me for that, his loss.

Maybe we need to let down our guard more. Maybe we just need to go with the flow, not expect anything to happen, and just let it be.

Because this is the best I’ve ever been treated. He has made me feel more validated than anyone else has.

Here I was thinking my standards were keeping all the jerks away, but they were really keeping me from finding someone great.

So, I encourage you to not overanalyze everything, plan for the future, think of the next date, and just enjoy it while it lasts. Because sometimes if we’re living in the future, we’re missing out on the present.

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Lindsey Grace likes writing about topics of relationships, pop culture and female empowerment. For more of her content, visit her author profile.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.