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Woman Asks If She Should Stop Husband From Attending Female Best Friend’s Wedding Who He Had A Crush On

Photo: Jacob Lund/Shutterstock
Wedding guests laughing

A woman felt conflicted after trying to prevent her husband from attending his female best friend’s wedding. 

The 27-year-old woman posted the story to Reddit’s r/AmItheA--hole (AITA) board. On the subreddit, people can post their moral conundrums for the world to read and judge.

Readers can then decide whether the person was in the right by voting “Not the A--hole” (NTA), or in the wrong by voting “You’re the A--hole” (YTA). 

Her husband has a close relationship with his female best friend, and it has always been an issue.

She says that her husband, “Roger,” has had a best friend, “Camilla,” since high school. Roger previously had unreciprocated feelings for Camilla, but didn’t get past them until shortly before meeting his wife.

Still, those past feelings caused issues in his new relationship.

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“I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my issues and insecurities with Camilla in the beginning,” the woman wrote.

“I was already wary of Roger's previous feelings, and Camilla rarely ever tried to initiate conversation and just acted nervous with me. On top of that, Camilla acted touchy with Roger (hands around waists during photos or bops on the head or shoulder), and while she's touchy with ALL her friends, it felt inappropriate and disrespectful.”

Recently, Camilla got engaged to her boyfriend of three years “Lucas,” and Roger told her he and his wife would attend. However, the woman’s family planned a surprise trip the same weekend, and she prioritized the trip over the wedding. 

She then tried to prevent him from going to the wedding.

“I told Roger that family commitments have to come first and that he can't disrespect me and my family by turning this trip down,” the woman wrote.

“Roger said that he was sorry, but Camilla's been there for him since they were teenagers, and that he didn't want to miss the special day of one of his best friends getting married. I cried a little, as it seemed he was prioritizing this one girl he KNOWS gets under my skin over his own wife and in-laws.”

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The argument turned into a fight and Roger eventually packed his bags and left. Her parents respected his decision, but her brother and sister and law agreed with her. Some of his friends also texted her to say she was acting unreasonably. 

Commenters largely voted YTA on the post. To them, the woman was being very controlling and using excuses to keep Roger and Camilla apart.

“This sounds a lot less like it's about family commitment and a lot more like it's about your own personal "victories", particularly against Camilla,” one commenter said. “I think you're already beginning to learn this for yourself: when you initiate ‘me vs her’ against a long-term friend because of your jealousy, then you will lose."

"The fact that your husband sticks to his commitments when he makes them and doesn't abandon his friends is admirable. He deserves respect, which is something you didn't give him when you trampled over what was important to him.”

However, the comments helped the woman reflect on the situation and realize her faults. While she denied that she was jealous in the main post, she said in an edit she realized her jealousy throughout the relationship. 

“I think deep down throughout dating Roger, I always had some underlying fear that I was just Roger's second choice after he had gotten over Camilla, and that he'd dump me in a heartbeat if she ever changed her mind about him,” the woman wrote.

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Jonathan Alfano is a writer who focuses on news and entertainment topics. Follow him on Twitter to keep up with his content.

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